That was easy!

Well, I beat Ted, the easy way.
He got his Jet Blue pass, he got a bike reserved from Tri-Guy at the last minute, he got a shot of Jaeger, he got a Russian loofa massage from Bruno and a shave and a shvitz at the Turkish baths to sweat out the Jaeger, he got Bonk bars and Accelerade and tri shorts at the Sports Basement.

However, he forgot to register. Registration is closed, and the race is tomorrow. This is obviously Ted's inner loser saying, "Derek is a lean manimal, I am a soft fluffy office mouse. I have no chance; therefore, I won't even try." It may be that Ted is concerned that they will be checking gender claims more seriously in light of the recent hermaphrodite sprinter controversy.

Whatever the reason, I have to admit, it's dissappointing. I was looking forward to beating Ted the honest way, stalking him as he hobbled along on his defective leg, pausing to stare coldly into his plaintive eyes.
Ted: "Dude, my leg really hurts."
Derek: "I don't care."

There are some ways this can be salvaged. Ted could talk his way into the race at registration packet pick up today. I'm sure Victoria and Trevor will go out of their way to accomodate him given the relationship they have developed.
Or, Ted could race as a free agent, evading race authorities the whole way, a Jason Bourne in tight spandex shorts.